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The minute I took the test I knew it was twins, it was 3 days before my period. Because of our planned vacation to Mexico we needed the vaccinations and they said we needed to be sure that we’re not pregnant. If so, we must cancel our trip, because of the ZIKA-virus. I never tested positive 3 days before… So this was the only logical explanation! 

With my son I was five days overdue, the pregnancy was one you dream of, so was giving birth to him! At home, in my own bed. In a few hours, the most beautiful boy I had ever seen was in my arms. We name him Daan.

With my daughter, the pregnancy was not always that easy and I didn’t feel 'okay', something was off… but with every check, I was told that everything was ok. Until one night, I woke up and I didn't feel her kicks anymore. At 32.5 weeks, her heart stopped beating...

The next day I was brought in to the hospital to go be induced. I knew that she would be stillborn. But I hoped that giving birth to her would be just as beautiful, as with my son. It wasn't. I was in a lot of pain, the epidural didn't work and an hour after she was born I was brought to the ICU because of preeclampsia. That was also the reason her heart stopped. There were no signs in the pregnancy whatsoever, only after birth.

She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, perfect! Lize is her name. The days, weeks and months after were very heavy. We needed a break so that's why we booked Mexico! Little did we know something(s) was coming our way. 

On the first ultrasound.... it was so obvious, they were twins! Double the love, but also double the worries. It was a difficult pregnancy with a lot of worries, check-ups, and tests. But we crossed the line of 24 weeks and we were still going strong. At 28 weeks they saw that one of the two stayed behind in growth. I was admitted to the hospital. After many tests, they discovered I again was developing preeclampsia.

Al the preparation that we needed was given to us. But at 29 weeks and 4 days pregnant, they came into my room. I stayed in a University hospital in Rotterdam, but if the twins were born now, they wouldn't have a place for them at the Neonatology Department. So they transport me to Belgie. There, they did an ultrasound at 29.6 weeks, the same afternoon, the doctors planned a c-section because of the condition of the babies. That day they were born. I never felt so said sad, like I did that day. Right after the delivery, I couldn't hold them, I saw them for just one second and then they were taken away, they were so tiny.

I was brought back into my room on the ward because they wanted to be sure I didn't get sicker. I waited for 2,5 hours! Finally, the doctors took me to the NICU to our two girls. Lotte and Esmee are their names. They were doing ok. Very tiny, both just 1 kilo but they were perfect! They had to stay in their little incubators (glass box) to keep them warm and mimic the womb, they were in there for a long time. Every day we were able to do kangaroo care (where they lay on your chest, skin to skin with a blanket over us). Finally another 8 weeks in the hospital they came home, on the 3rd of August! We couldn't be happier!

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They are now 20 weeks old, 4.5 kilos and doing great. Curious what they look like now?

Check my page @confetti_mama